Noel's Nitemare

Then what are you crying about?

Sometimes 12 dead bodies doesn't matter. We can make comparisons of "Which is the most gruesome death?" or maybe that other "thing" that killed 6 people every month. It just doesn't matter. It happens every second whether to a group of people or individuals. Don't act like you're shocked behind that fucking computer screens. I'm not. Now let's see if there will be any TV character's couple that fight with each other and I can cry my heart out.

It's satisfying to listen to Slim Shady as I wash the blood soaked clothes and scrubs the tools clean from dried blood.

I can see you drooling. It's not attractive at all and you look more like a bitch than a human. Do I need to put a leash on you? Feels like cutting your happy wagging tail and stuffed it up your own cunt. You can't handle this when you're on your four. Go home before I break some of your little sad paws.

See, I told you they don't understand. I know about this better than anyone around you will ever be. Ignore them. What do they know about the real you? All they can do is judge and forced their ways on you. It's sickening when you hear these people talk about things they think they know. I don't judge you. This is how I'm going to make you survive this stupid self-righteous fucked up world. Keep it between us.

I am drunk right now and I think this will be the right tme to settlt this story once and for all. of what happened that night 4 ywars a go when i "fucked" Jude. Or so what people believe  i did. June 2010. The month she turned 25. Jude was having a hard time herslef. She was just forced to come back to Jkarta when she was ready to marry this german/aussi guy. She was head over heel for him and once her mom sniffed someting worng, she was yanked from her dream in Aussie ad shoved to live in Jakarta to be a nice girl everyone thinks she is.. TBH, YES, I do believe she got this vive gooing on for me after I came out for her. Because sriously, I knew she was queer a loooong time ago sinc high school. And what kind of a person making nicname and a diffeent story life with a guy persona if she's not queer?? huh??  OK. gotta right this as fast as i can before i'm gone. ANYWAY. We kept on talking about just getting high or drunk together. Because she does this all the...

The girl is struggling to choose between to let it all be out there for people to know or keep it with her for as long as she lives. As much as I want her to stop being the only bad person, here, if this shit goes out, she's sinking a lot of ships. Including her in it. She knows she'll regret it and it will destroy her. But it never stopped her before, doesn't it? I'm part to blame. She does blame me for making her numb and forget that she's actually hurt. I'm good at that. She didn't heal properly every time I do that. Problem is, when it all came crashing back in full force, sometimes I lost my grip on her. She wants to lash out in anger, but I've been keeping her down. I'm the only one who understand what's in her head. I will not allow her erratic behavior ruin my reign in this body. She's been torturing herself with a lot of trash talk to herself. She keeps on fighting in her own head, trying to gain recognition of what she actually ...