Stupid, lazy, no preserverence, arrogant, inconsiderate, heedless, liar, selfish, no self awareness and just so busy thinking about yourself all the time that you cant grow and you cant get your head out of your ass.You only hear those conceited things in your head, that you dont listen what other people tell you what the fuck is wrong with you. People change when they want to. With great effort, no doubt. But you know you dont want to and you cry about the littlest things when you have so many things that other people would kill to have just for a night. When you get criticized, you think other people dont know shit about you. But when you criticized other people, you expect them not to react like how you have. Imagine thinking constantly about "but Ive given you so and so?" instead of "they have given me their so and so!" What a conceited piece of crap
Sometimes I do wish I don't have people who cared for me and just let me go. So I don't have to keep fighting and live in this constant struggle of depression and heightened emotion. What do I get from it? Wisdom? For who? Strength to keep being alive in constant agony?
Is there a scientific explanation somewhere of why not being able to feel much of emotions is making me feel physical pain in my chest. It's like something is forcing me to feel and I just can't and it's painful to the point that sometimes I just can't breathe.
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