Noel's Nitemare

Here's how I see my family. We are so disfungsional we shouldn't even called ourselves family. We only got back home because we don't have any place to go and it would be lonely if we dont. We don't talk to each other most of the time. Coz we like to argue. The talking part were just a dialogue made of phony script from a television show about disfungsional family. My mom is an angry woman but too afraid to be alone. She would yell at you all of the time but then she would run to you again because she is THAT afraid to be alone. She thought of her as a superwoman, a compensation of how weak she actually are. She help you but in return you oughta help her too, coz if not, she'll tell you over and over again how she had worked hard to help you. I don't even know where to start with my bro. He's stupid and childish. I know he's still a teenager. A really angry teenager that is. I know sometimes I'm the one who needs to be an adult, but its too muc...

My hands are sweating. I keep holding the little knife in my left hand. Playing it around. Feels like I have to do it just to make a point. Maybe a score. It’s been a long time. What different will it make this time? A statement? I like the feeling of cold iron touching my skin. I’m about to cry. Should I stop it?

Is it easier to run? But why is it easier for people to just forget it and easier for me to hurt myself? What makes people choose? Run, Noel. Cause they say it will lead you to a finish line somewhere.

Today I brushed my teeth so hard, it bleeds. Leaving a numb feeling and a pint of stinging sensation. But it feels good cause I feel clean.