Noel's Nitemare

Oozing booze out of my pores. If I keep this up, I'd totally loose weight and die LoL Puked and diarrhea was the after effect of two nights in a row getting shit-faced. My mouth is dry coz you know, that what alcohol does to your body. Dehydration. But then I'd drink water like a fish. So it's all good. I never drink water more than 2 glass per day. THIS is drunk man logic.

just enough to make feel brave to do anything i feel like a chicken shit. I dont care with the outcome tomorrow. I did it. yay!

This is all about the need to feel. Any kind of feeling would be good. They dont understand. I'm in this alone like I always have. Any resistence is futile LoL now I'm talking like trekkie nerd. I want my brain to stop being so tensed and just live. In my sanctuary, I give in.

That cravings comes back again. To jam a razor at my hand and drag it deep. To drink alcohol into oblivious state. I had to distract myself last night. Didn't remember what I did though. Tried to read but I keep stopping once in a while just to stay focus on the words that seemed to be meaningless all of a sudden. It took a while but then the cravings gone and I just felt sad. It's starting again. The low, empty and cold feeling that asked for my attention.

If you can brush your teeth, you can give a women a decent handjobs