Craving again

That cravings comes back again. To jam a razor at my hand and drag it deep. To drink alcohol into oblivious state. I had to distract myself last night. Didn't remember what I did though. Tried to read but I keep stopping once in a while just to stay focus on the words that seemed to be meaningless all of a sudden. It took a while but then the cravings gone and I just felt sad. It's starting again. The low, empty and cold feeling that asked for my attention.

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