Noel's Nitemare

Is it considered as weird or clinically problematic that I have urges to hit these people around me that got on my nerves? Not just acquaintances or friends but also family member. It used to be walls or desks as my object to release this frustration. But slowly it feels like their faces are not a bad media to introduce my fist. Besides, maybe once everything erupted from inside, they finally realize how not normal I am?

Bullshit. Just fucking bullshit. That cunt is trying to fuck with you. Saying you're everything and she care and all those sweet sickening shit but she doesn't blink an eye when you're hurt. Full of bullshit and you're eating all those shit up. THINK you stupid moron! People who care for you don't do this. They do not keep on trying to hurt you. They will stop. They will hurt when you're hurt. Does she seem like she's hurt when you said you're hurt? NOPE. She mocks your feeling. She said you are not making any sense. It needs to be something for her to actually mean something. It's all about her. It needs to make sense for her first. She can't respect the things that matters to you. And SHE KNOWS you're not an idiot. Yet she kept saying things as if you're the same with the idiots. This bitch is calling you dumb on your face and you will forgive her AGAIN? If that is not selfish, what is? Did you see how you keep trying to explain things ...

Keep telling yourself that you are worth it, kid. It's just you and me now.

Because the only times she feels..something, is when there are people squirming under her, calling her name, and coming apart.

you think you're safe from me..

Do other people have the same? When their heart ache, it's physically painful?

I'll just make her cry to sleep again tonight.

She wishes she dies everyday. Every day. Too much pain and hate. She can't find her anger anymore. She just gives up. So many hate and it's like poison. She's surrounded by so many hate and she can't take it.

Then what are you crying about?

Sometimes 12 dead bodies doesn't matter. We can make comparisons of "Which is the most gruesome death?" or maybe that other "thing" that killed 6 people every month. It just doesn't matter. It happens every second whether to a group of people or individuals. Don't act like you're shocked behind that fucking computer screens. I'm not. Now let's see if there will be any TV character's couple that fight with each other and I can cry my heart out.