Noel's Nitemare

No one knows she still cries at night because of the pain I hid the whole day. I give her an hour or two to let go, and then I shut her off completely and whore ourselves around.

How many clits and penis I have these fingers on?

Because she insisted that she tasted love and I ruined it. They think it's any less painful for us just because we 're sick in the head. They don't know we 've given everything we have.

My honesty is smoke screens because if you ask how I feel, I won't be able to answer truthfully. My brain isn't wired that way. My brain doesn't trust my emotions because it never stays the same

Feeling angry for days because we care and not caring at the same time. Feeling extremely sad for not being normal. And then getting angry and sad for not being able to do something as simple as concentrating on work. Trying not to cut because we feel so much pain in the chest. Trying not to ask for help because we don't want to bother anyone and thinking no one cares anyway. If they care, they can't help anyway. We know our feelings are valid and real but scold our self for feeling it and being dramatic. Grinding teeth, making jaw tense, head hurts and stomach acid rise. So tired of these. Wishing to cry until we can fall asleep but the mind is overworking to keep us awake.