Noel's Nitemare

 My heart breaks because my heart can't break. Sometimes I get very troubled with how cold and empathetic I am. I never cried for myself. I don't know if I want to feel again or if this is for the best.

 How do you explain that you've been talking with several people at the same time and hell break loose around the same time. When you dont have any bad intention, like at all, but it's still gonna come off as bad anyway and anything you say will be misinterpret as a message for one but it's for the others. FML I'm cringing at my own stupid behaviour Am I suppose to hold their hands now?

We don't talk freely about it anymore because we change how we pursue it. We joke about it, dancing around the idea of dying young. But it's a clear message. We're doing it. We're killing ourselves slowly but sure. And it's okay. There is nothing anyone can do about this. It's too late. The deed is set in motion half way if not already on it's last act