I'm baaack bitchess!! IN FULL CONTROL
She's driving me insane! For two years sometimes she got into this mushy mode with another human being. I've warned her! But it fell on deaf ears. For fuck sake imagine me just standing there having to watch her being a fucking complete MORON. I mean, I got a hold of her pretty fine. It's my job. I made sure she couldn't feel more than just regular day to day emotions. I fake everything that was needed to fake about.
But then just like what I predicted again and again. People around her fuck her pretty bad. Uses her. And I guess, I'm quite ashamed to say that I wasn't strong enough to keep her in the sanity place. She snapped. She snapped bad. It's like she kicked me in the crotch and I lost what little thing I had left in control. I just sat in the dark, completely losing control of her. And then she goes and blurt out all the secrets we have! That was humiliating and frustrating. I made sure she hates herself after that. tsk naughty girl.
BUT! Of course she's getting one bad thing after another and I'M BACK!! OH MY GOD YOU DON'T KNOW HOW GOOD IT FEELS...OR NOT FEEL...? ANYWAY!!WOOHOOO! As woohoo as I can be because honestly I can't actually feel that happy lol
Of course losing her means I'm kind of lost too. Like, being flat means I don't know what to do. I don't have anything I really enjoy. She's completely gone right now. I was thinking of slashing one or two skin hehe...but I'm not sure of the purpose lol I use that to make her NOT feel. It'll be USELESS!
meh. I'll just stare at the wall again. it wasn't bad.
But then just like what I predicted again and again. People around her fuck her pretty bad. Uses her. And I guess, I'm quite ashamed to say that I wasn't strong enough to keep her in the sanity place. She snapped. She snapped bad. It's like she kicked me in the crotch and I lost what little thing I had left in control. I just sat in the dark, completely losing control of her. And then she goes and blurt out all the secrets we have! That was humiliating and frustrating. I made sure she hates herself after that. tsk naughty girl.
BUT! Of course she's getting one bad thing after another and I'M BACK!! OH MY GOD YOU DON'T KNOW HOW GOOD IT FEELS...OR NOT FEEL...? ANYWAY!!WOOHOOO! As woohoo as I can be because honestly I can't actually feel that happy lol
Of course losing her means I'm kind of lost too. Like, being flat means I don't know what to do. I don't have anything I really enjoy. She's completely gone right now. I was thinking of slashing one or two skin hehe...but I'm not sure of the purpose lol I use that to make her NOT feel. It'll be USELESS!
meh. I'll just stare at the wall again. it wasn't bad.
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