fuck you all
Nobody fucking believes me. So I'm a liar now? Have you ever been THAT wasted, assholes? If you never been, shut the fuck up! I have no control at all, and as weird as it seems, I really did seems like jumping in and out of my head through the night. I didn't do anything. I WILL NOT BE BLAMED. I feel insulted. If I cheated on purpose, that means I'm stupid. That bordering on insulting my intelligence. Why the fuck would I cheated and then running away saying I didn't remember! This is not a FUCKING movie assholes! Yea, next thing I'd say would be "I have double personality. It wasnt me!" Oh, FUCK YOU ALL.
I hate it that I become more paranoid. Feels like everyone is whispering behind my back. You people are just happy to get more drama aren't you? You lookin for new jerks and villains. Then you run and offers hug to whom you called victims. There's just so much confusion and anger. I don't know and I don't understand what to do.
Now because of this stupid mistakes, everyone would just forget what i've been dealing. Yea, it doesn't matter. Your last act is what people remember of you.
No, I don't have any problem with it. People think I enjoyed it. People think I woke up feeling awesome. I wouldnt feel bad like hell. FUCK MAN, which part of having a hangover, feeling guilty, puke all over the floor and listening to mithya's mom crying on the phone that doesnt add up to ur thick little skull that it feels worst than shit!?
I'm still the failure, the perfect kid everyone thought as the star of the family, the closeted queer, the self-mutilator who hides his scar behind long sleeves, the one who has to plug his ear everyday everytime the queen and malin screamed at each other, hiding behind sounds and blankets, the one who has to act like everything ok, the one who hate it everytime Mithya's father calls trying to reconnect while I lost all confidence, the one who's forgotten. WHO FEELS FUCKING INVINSIBLE NOW HUH!?
You know what, this is useless. Nobody's listening. They need a villain and they got one.
You want to convict me, fine. One more shit to throw between these piles, wouldnt kill me. I'd probably just getting stinkier and drowned on it.
I just feels like I'm beeing blamed on something I dont even remember of. its not fair. Even God let crazy moslem go without a pray because they're not in the right state of mind. Are you god?
Maybe I'm angry coz I lost control. Again. It was either me or Mithya. I struggle so hard to control everything that I do, and ONE time, just one time I screwed up, it becomes the highlight of the year.
It reminds me of the Noel I used to be. The evil heartless one before he was tamed three years a go. People doesnt understand how it hurts for me to get back to that state. To destroy everything i have trying to build perfectly. I may be twisted and full of heartless logic, but I am NOT stupid and deliberately hurt the girl who stopped me destroyed myself.
So if you dont understand, back off. Dont you dare judging me. You will have consequences. You will meet Noel.
I hate it that I become more paranoid. Feels like everyone is whispering behind my back. You people are just happy to get more drama aren't you? You lookin for new jerks and villains. Then you run and offers hug to whom you called victims. There's just so much confusion and anger. I don't know and I don't understand what to do.
Now because of this stupid mistakes, everyone would just forget what i've been dealing. Yea, it doesn't matter. Your last act is what people remember of you.
No, I don't have any problem with it. People think I enjoyed it. People think I woke up feeling awesome. I wouldnt feel bad like hell. FUCK MAN, which part of having a hangover, feeling guilty, puke all over the floor and listening to mithya's mom crying on the phone that doesnt add up to ur thick little skull that it feels worst than shit!?
I'm still the failure, the perfect kid everyone thought as the star of the family, the closeted queer, the self-mutilator who hides his scar behind long sleeves, the one who has to plug his ear everyday everytime the queen and malin screamed at each other, hiding behind sounds and blankets, the one who has to act like everything ok, the one who hate it everytime Mithya's father calls trying to reconnect while I lost all confidence, the one who's forgotten. WHO FEELS FUCKING INVINSIBLE NOW HUH!?
You know what, this is useless. Nobody's listening. They need a villain and they got one.
You want to convict me, fine. One more shit to throw between these piles, wouldnt kill me. I'd probably just getting stinkier and drowned on it.
I just feels like I'm beeing blamed on something I dont even remember of. its not fair. Even God let crazy moslem go without a pray because they're not in the right state of mind. Are you god?
Maybe I'm angry coz I lost control. Again. It was either me or Mithya. I struggle so hard to control everything that I do, and ONE time, just one time I screwed up, it becomes the highlight of the year.
It reminds me of the Noel I used to be. The evil heartless one before he was tamed three years a go. People doesnt understand how it hurts for me to get back to that state. To destroy everything i have trying to build perfectly. I may be twisted and full of heartless logic, but I am NOT stupid and deliberately hurt the girl who stopped me destroyed myself.
So if you dont understand, back off. Dont you dare judging me. You will have consequences. You will meet Noel.
Comments