12 May 2010

I took it as an offense. The word. It didnt affect much, but still offended. I never asked to be born inside of this girl. I'd rather fuck girl in a boy form. I can't even expressed myself freely. If I do, people calling me labels. Suddenly I'm either gay or lesbian. Fuck.

Then they would think I'm a tranny. I'm not EITHER of those stupid label. I'm just stuck here. Living inside a girl. No, I'm not delusional or having a multiple personality. I'm a homonculus. At least that's the easiest word to explain WHAT I am. Go search that word. I'm not gonna bother explaining.

When I'm in charge, it feels like the world is colder. My breath seems shorther than normally is and everything is just annoying. Except for beautiful girl. Then My heart would beat faster and reminding me that it still there.

I'm not even amused with their voice. Sometimes I have to grit my teeth just to hold my anger and not stuffed their mouth. I wish people just shut up. All I want to hear is a girl sigh or moaning when I touch them.

I dont act as noel. I am noel. I dont like it when people doesn't acknowledge me. I'm here as real as any pathetic human soul you got inside. Deal with it.

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